Monday, 3 November 2014

Washing up crisis

In my view, time appears to go faster as you get older not merely because a unit of time is a relatively smaller fraction of what you have experienced with each passing second. No, it's because your brain gets slower. In my case, things are reaching a crisis point. I just cannot seem to do the washing up in anything like a reasonable time frame. I think that's partly because my brain is slow and also because I can't focus on one thing. The Maths, the Chemistry, the novel, the film, the Fiverr gigs, the football, the guitar and more besides. If you ask me how I want it all to end, I just want to live in a nice hotel room with a nice suitcase and whatever will fit inside that. The proliferation of stuff I buy on Ebay, the thousand schemes I dream up, the unfinished's all a drag TBH. But it's not just that. It's that unemployment is its own little death. It's like I'm living in a pot of glue and moving in slow motion across the lounge...
But you don't want to hear that. You want to know about my success. About that all I can say is maybe I should start buying lottery tickets. I must be the most left swiped man on Tinder. I must be because bar a woman living 5555 miles away and another one who enjoys welding I've not done well. I've come out of the closet and signed up with Large for a month, tho.

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