Monday, 1 September 2014

New month, new strategy. I had a tarot reading the other day- my first in over 16 years- and the oracle seemed to be saying that I'd have a girlfriend by January at the latest. But it’s like the joke about God and the lottery ticket, there is some effort that will be required on my part. I must say I have seen some nice looking women recently and over the weekend that inspired me to seriously consider areas I can work on. When I went to withdraw the rent on Friday I was served by a woman of Indian or Pakistani descent, I would guess early thirties. She was average looking-very non symmetrical- but I was strangely beguiled by her. There was something about the bone structure around her eyes that I found very attractive. She may be married, we may have nothing in common but I would like her to know just for her own sake that she is my Miss Natwest.

Then when I went to the letting agency to pay the rent I met a fair haired woman of a similar age who was plump and ample and is a freelance TEFL teacher. The lady in Natwest was now a vague memory. I had now seen absolutely where the bar had been set for me. She was just exactly the size I like and had a sweet and gentle manner about her. If she was way too high for the likes of me then I’ll have to make sure this doesn't happen again by jumping through a few hoops until my Badoo rating rises from the 4.00 it currently rests at when I’m in the UK (I average about a 7 when I’m in Prague- somewhere in-between in China).

I actually started thinking about what my whole life has been so far. I never really refused many- I didn't have that luxury- to to put it another way I never had strength in depth, as they say about football teams. Now supposing I were a 10 and not a 4 of course this would make things easier. I’d have a far larger catalog to select a match from.

As things stand, there is a lot of work to do. I’m podgy, spotty, broke, carless, getting on a bit and not very visible either to those who may be interested in my potential. Of course, I don’t envisage bumping myself up to a 10. What is a 10, anyway? A premier league footballer? Matt from Downton Abbey? Colin Firth in his heyday?

Let's put rock stars, actors and billionaires in one group and call these people 10s. We can say that a TV producer, high profile lawyer, property developer, art dealer etc is a 9. They hang out with the famous but aren't famous themselves. At 8 just below these are people who are wealthy but less glamorous. They still drive nice cars and live in big houses. Maybe they run a marketing company or are a barrister or something but they don't quite have the cache of a 9.

You know what, I haven't even got to 7 yet and I'm thinking I'm lucky to even have been rated a 4. Actually until recently my rating was indeed less than 4. You'd think ratings are based on looks but I just don't think it works that way with girls. They'll be picking up on all sorts of other subtle things, like the clothes I'm wearing and what they can see in the photograph that give an indication of my net worth, self-respect and ambition. So let's forget this talk of how far I might be able to improve and say that significant improvement is the goal.

I went for my induction at the leisure centre at 10.00. Did my back in slightly I would say.  You're not supposed to strain yourself in an induction.  I also had a hair cut and bought 2 shirts (every item of clothing one pound) in the Cats in Crisis charity shop (I was very very discriminating) and flirted a bit with a Lithuanian mother who was working in the shop and had her daughter with her. My flirting skills are non existent really. I simply talk to someone and if they like the look of me they will be naturally receptive. Judging by her friendly response I might be as high as 7 but it must be a Slav thing, see what I said earlier about Prague.

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